do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
