when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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