on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
