I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
