i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
