I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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