he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
