Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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