whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
