Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
