I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
