Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
