I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
