she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
