Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
