i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
