I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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