so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
