Don't make out with my wife yet
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
