big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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