that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
