honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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