i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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