we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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