My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
