Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
