i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
