I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
