you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
