I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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