there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Life is so much better after having sex.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
that is very illegal...i love you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
