he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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