I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
