I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
