Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
