Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
