do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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