Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
