i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
