I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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