Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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