There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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