He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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