if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
