3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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