I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
