He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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