Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
