Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
