I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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