She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
