I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
