I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
